The call of Grace

I thought my life was too busy prior to the “safe at home” world we live in. One thing I have realized, even with more free time on my hands is that I have fallen into some weird slump of laziness. Excuse after excuse you can say, is something I have come up with to not do what I ought to do. First, there was not enough time and now there's "too much" time. Is that even such a thing? So during this new normal of social distancing and staying at home, I have found myself making a life on twitter and clearing my DVR.        I have all these projects and writings I want to finish but now I just sloth around even more. Bleh!

Finally, I watched the season finale of "9-1-1 Lone Star" and I want to again applaud Tim Minear and his writing team for a job well done at making the stories of 9-1-1 realistic with an entertaining twist. I can tell you stories all day but with the twist of Hollywood magic, of course, they all of a sudden are that much more interesting. I've come clean with my opinion before, I do politely give the raised eyebrow with some of the technical things, but even for me the show is entertaining enough to make me feel like it's believable.

Now moving on to the nitty-gritty of the episode, you may think the 9-1-1 dispatcher Grace getting the call from the space station is far-fetched. Believe it or not in reality that could really happen...I think. Don't get me wrong I'm not an expert on phone and radio communications but I'm sure one of my radio head colleagues could totally elaborate on that subject but come on, part of the purpose of my blog is to let you live through my eyes while I share the real-life, whether 9-1-1 or random stuff but certainly it is not to put you to sleep with propeller head information. 

So, I've gotten a call misrouted all the way from Italy once. You can thank the Voice over Internet provider (VOIP) numbers for this. Often, we get calls from other states because the company’s main office may be in my state, yet the office they are calling from is in another and all the extension lines they're using are from the main office. In another instance, sometimes people move and because paperwork moves at snail mail speed, the phone line information is not updated in a timely manner, and when you dial 9-1-1, you're stuck talking to me and then yes it's my job to figure out which dispatch center I need to route you to. Once again, another reason why we ask you to verify your address. Believe it or not, I've been cursed at over these things. I recall a person telling me I was stupid and to use my screen to figure out the address. Okay fine. I dispatch the units to the location you say is on my screen, well guess what? 8 minutes into the call, the caller is yelling at me, “WHY ARE THEY NOT FUCKING HERE YET!?”

“Ma'am, may I confirm your address?” I asked.

“The fucking information is on the screen.”

"Yes, ma'am, they are on their way to 1234 Main Street.”

*caller gasps* “uh no, no oh my gosh! I moved 6 months ago!”

“Okay ma'am, can I have your current location please?”

“4321 First Street.” The caller says.

“Okay ma'am, please give me a moment while I connect us with your correct department.”

And of course the process starts all over again and precious time was wasted. Thank goodness it's not every call but people certainly get quite upset with all the “stupid ass questions” we ask, like what is your address?

The character 9-1-1 dispatcher Grace was on the line with an astronaut who knew he was dying and she obliged by his wishes and connected him to his wife. He so affectionately said his last words and had laughs with his young daughter. It was a heartfelt exchange where you saw Grace's pain in her eyes and before the episode ended she was breaking down in tears. I felt Grace's pain when I saw the defeat she was feeling and how she felt she needed to hold it together while sitting at the phone console.

As the phone disconnected and the astronaut took his last breath, I was taken back to the emotion I have experienced many times during my 14-year tenure, and because I could feel it, that alone is something I consider great writing.


Operator 43, what is your emergency?
*breathing heavily with gasps and fumbling noises.*

"I can't - I can't - I can't breathe!"

"Sir, I don't want you to talk more than necessary but I do need your address.  You're calling me from your cell phone"

**It's important to take note at this time because there was no accurate cellphone detection available, so he had to tell me where he was**

*man slowly blurts out address with exhaustion*

"Sir, I hear a lot of noise in your background, please I need you to sit down and breath in slowly through your nose and out of your mouth."

"ast..asthma!"

"Ok sir just tell me yes or no, did you use your inhaler?"

"All, all gone"

"Okay sir, I have help on the way to you please concentrate on breathing."

*hears thud*

"Call my, my wife! she, she's next door! inhaler!"

"Sir, please save your breath, help will be there soon."

*slowly gives me his wife's phone number.*

"Okay sir, I'm calling your wife."

I didn’t connect the call with him immediately, because often times when you make a call to a loved one and the patient is on the phone they will blurt out something. This could then cause the loved one to panic and your call is taken over mostly by cries or screams and you can never gain control back. So instead, I choose to announce myself and give a small detail.

“Ma'am this is 911, we do have help on the way to your residence for your husband who is having a medical emergency. I am going to connect us but please be assured help is coming.” However, in this case the phone rings and she never picks up. I disconnect her line and go back to the patient.

"Sir, she did not pick up."

"Unblock number! She doesn't pick up blocked numbers."

"Sir, I have no way of unblocking the number."

"Please try again"

*Clicks back over and attempts a call. No answer.*

I come back to the line and he is still breathing.

"She, she has inhaler! mine is...is empty."

"Sir, keep breathing."

I hear sirens in the background. His breaths are so shallow and slow.

"Tell her...tell her I love her."

I hear the knocks at the door. I advise the radio dispatcher to tell the units the patient is down and can't get to the door and to break in. The phone drops. No breaths.

"Sir! I need you to breathe with me!"

I hear a deep wheezing gurgle, then one last gurgle.

I hear the medics: "Sir! Sir, can you hear me?"

I know he can't hear them, he's gone. The sound of a person's last breath is something you will never forget. I sit there sad; my next caller is in my ear and needs my full attention. I give them all I got. I disconnect from the next caller and watch my status screen from the previous call. The medics did not transport the patient and that's my confirmation that he did not make it. He died in his home with his wife next door.

Some days are difficult.
Here I was holding my breath to hold back my tears.
Superheros don't cry.

Even though this particular call was earlier in my career, when I get calls like that now, those are the times I really sit back and remove myself from the job and I realize what I actually do for a living. While I'm sad about the situation, I think about all the people I was able to save, and had I not been there the outcome could have been dismal. After the quick reality check, I'm typically able to go on without a fuss or worry. I will admit, each year is getting more challenging to be able to pick myself up and keep going, but for now, I'm going to iron my superhero cape and put it back on.

Operator 43, what is your emergency? 

Just PICTURE Paradise

If you have been following my blog, then you know I fell into a format of sorts where I share a personal story and then it sequels to a relevant 9-1-1 call. In the past few weeks, I have had time to write and I stacked up a few posts to be consistent. The only problem with this is the fact that the posts all had some sort of sad tune to them. Although I know you all appreciate the reality of my 9-1-1 world, I just feel like some hope is something I should share. Today's post was inspired by a twitter conversation with my twitter friend @SaraJaneKehler. Check her out at www.Saralivingfree.com  I know it may sound weird to have a friend you have never met in person but I have some really supportive people in the twitterverse. This is especially so now that practically the entire world has been practicing some sort of social distancing. The World Wide Web has created some great platforms for nurturing new friendships. The writing community on twitter has a really good support system for people like me who are venturing out into the world with their passion for storytelling.

 When I began this job, I was really behind financially. A little over a year in and I was still trying to catch up and I found this apartment I wanted to rent. The problem was at the time the owners wanted a USD 2500 deposit that I did not have and they wanted USD 1200 a month.1200 was above my comfort zone and I was honest about it. The apartment was really perfect and I was sad about not being able to rent it. I eventually got a phone call from the owners and they asked me what my plans were for a place to stay since I was looking. I told them I would just find a place on "Apartment Row" in an adjacent city for 925 a month. After a discussion and another phone call, they said they noticed I had a good government job and would like to offer the place at 925. I took it but told them I would not be able to move in on the first as I would not have the 2500 until the 15th. It was a total fib. I started to think of what I could do to get the money together without borrowing.  

At work, a colleague needed some coverage for some days but didn't want to use vacation time, instead she agreed to pay cash for the days she needed covered.    I agreed to work multiple days throughout the year since I knew I would need the extra cash to catch up. I also had this new rent payment and needed items for my place. I never thought she would give me a lump sum before working the days, but that was exactly what she did. So the lump sum plus what I had left in my bank account paid for my deposit.

After my deposit was paid it was going to be a long stretch until the next payday since all my regular bills were due and I had to pay all the deposits at the apartment to get electricity and gas turned on. There I was happy in my empty place with my mattress on the floor, just grateful to have a place of my own which I could call home.

I had a few necessities but not all. I needed some cleaning supplies and a pot to cook in so I headed to 99 Cents only store and then to the Goodwill second hand store. At the 99 Cents only store, I found a glass that had happy faces all over it.    It just made me happy and although it was not in my budget even at 99 cents, I bought it because I've always been one to put my happiness above all. Once I arrived at the Goodwill store, I grabbed the pot I needed and as I was headed to the register I found the most amazing picture. It was a framed picture of a white sand beach. Many people would call it a beach paradise. I had exactly enough money for the picture but not both the picture and the pot. I had to make choice. The choice was the picture and again my happiness won. I went home and hung it in my bathroom above my tub. It was my personal vision board and I just absolutely knew that every day I would look at the picture and be happy to dream about going to that beach one day. 

My beach paradise above hangs above
 my bathtub

As time went on, I would often think about making it to the beach in the picture. One day, my friends called me and said they had a surprise for me. They made a deposit for them and me to go on a cruise. Everyone knows I am the vacation planner, so for me to sit back and let them plan it all was something huge. Honestly, I put no effort in even discussing the planning because I had a feeling they would all flake before it was time to go. I have planned so many trips which ended up with me going solo so I was used to the disappointment of them not going. Time went on and everyone kept up with their deposits and we eventually set sail.

Days in on the cruise, our next destination was a small Bahamian island called Half Moon Cay. It's owned by the cruise lines so it's one hundred percent private and the only way there, is by boat. There isn't even a dock for the cruise ship; it drops anchor in the middle of the ocean and boats transport people to and from the ship. As the ship got closer to land, all I could do was cry. What was in front of me was the picture in my bathroom. It looked identical! Here I am in my swimsuit boohooing and my friends don't understand what is going on. Through my mumbling tears, I tell them I will explain later. Seeing the replica of my bathroom picture was just reinforcement that dreams do come true! I was touched by my experience I even wrote a poem about it.

Just Picture Paradise

Once upon a time I was down and out.

Broke and bare and wanted to pout.

I went to the Goodwill and didn't have much money,

but I was in my new apartment with no plates and pans

and I needed some things so I wouldn't have to eat with my hands.

I walked past this really great picture,

of a beach with all white sand.

I stood and stared at the picture and said one day

I wanna lay in that blue water and enjoy the breeze.

I needed inspiration because I didn't have a lot.

Only had money to buy the picture or the pot.

 

I chose the picture instead.

I knew if I bought the picture I would dream about it much.

And one day I would have lots of good luck.

One day when things in my life were a lot better,

I sailed on the ocean blue and went far far away.

Then we approached the dock and there was Half Moon Cay.

 

I recognized this place at sight.

I knew it because I had seen it every day.

The picture I bought at the goodwill

really did give me some goodwill in a major way.

It kept me thinking about the day I would be able to go to paradise and lay.

From that day on I knew that dreams come true

as I laid in the sand and swam in the beautiful ocean blue

My happy place

And yes, the picture still hangs over my bathtub as a reminder to keep dreaming. So, as we are going through these difficult times due to the pandemic and war on social injustice I want you all to visualize a better future. It may not happen overnight but one thing I can tell you is that it will happen perfectly when the time is right.

All smiles in the beautiful blue sea